Dominic Beck – leg pull, part three

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Part three, of the contents of envelope number one, that arrived by snail mail this morning.

Satire dead? – Not when Dominic’s involved!

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This is the second of three anonymously provided pieces of satire based around the theme of Dominic’s recent ‘private family holiday’ to China. Thanks go to our source, for their time and effort on readers behalf.

A postcard from China

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Akhtar hedging his bets with Respect?

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Had Rothpol’s attention drawn to this, could it just be that Jahangir Akhtar, is beginning to contemplate a future outside the Labour Party?

The Gala Opening of the Rotherham Metropolitan Comedy Club

“Today, Friday, I and my trusty companion Mr Lewis, the finest hackler in the country; attended the Gala opening of the Rotherham Metropolitan Comedy Club. We, as uninvited attendees, had to be squeezed in amongst the invited friends and families … Continue reading →

First draft safeguarding poster campaign….

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Rotherham Politics very own Cheeky Monkey thought readers might appreciate this piece of satire: ….this was earmarked as the new RMBC safeguarding poster. Just stopped at the last minute after it was decided by committee that it might be a … Continue reading →

Anston Parish Council – Meeting Monday 25th February

Rotherham Politics has just learned that Michael Gazur has summoned the parish council to a meeting on Monday 25 February at 7pm in the parish hall!

Democracy in action? An experience not to be missed by the locals.

New to this story? Comedy Club? Farce certainly! and Rotherham’s Comedy Club, provide essential reading and hours of amusement.

Comedy Club? Farce certainly!

This report from last nights meeting of Anston Parish Council, it’s brilliant!

Dominic Beck last night, 18th February, provided us with the answer to the conundrum, who does the Rotherham Labour Party believe are the more important themselves or the electorate?

Last night I attended the monthly meeting of the Anston Parish Council, better known as the comedy club, with shouter Beck in the chair.

Amongst the public attending was a 70 year old disabled retired miner.  Over four weeks ago he wrote to the council clerk with a complaint about the conduct of a Parish councillor, he never received a reply.  Yet here it was as an item on the agenda.

So, as we all would, he expects to get a response, Beck with the help of Dalton attempt to fob the man off, this is no surprise as the councillor being complained about is none other than St John, better known as Sinjin.

However the man is not in any mood to allow his complaint to be swept under the carpet and demands the letter be read out.

Beck using his usual vociferous demeanor orders the man to shut up, his reply to this was just read out the letter.
Beck once again shouts at him to be quiet, all this does is antagonise  him further.

Any chairman worth his salt would realise that the situation was getting out of hand, so to placate the man he would have had the letter read out.

However the egomaniac that is Dominic Beck can not see this so he escalates it by vehemently ordering the 70 year old disabled man to leave the meeting, he of course refuses.

So in the best traditions of the Labour party, remember the 80 year old man they had forcefully ejected from their conference, shouter Beck adjourns the meeting and calls the police to eject this man.

The majority of the public remain behind to support the dissident.
An hour goes by with no sign of the police, things are now developing into a major farce Beck is making himself and the rest of the council a laughing stock.  9.30 pm arrives the time that standing orders dictates that proceedings should finish so Beck with due aplomb reopens the meeting councillor Dalton immediately leaps to his aid and moves suspension of standing orders for half an hour Beck straight away adjourns the meeting again.

This proves how inept he is at chairing the meeting he can not adjourn the meeting again without discussion.
It was patently obvious the tactics being used by Beck and Dalton was to delay proceedings until the police arrived, they wanted to show the rest of us what could be in store for us if we step out of line; we were quaking.

Alas the well laid plans of Beck and Dalton came to naught, at ten o’clock he had to close the meeting with barely a quorum of councillors left.

At this point the police arrived to much cheering and clapping from the public, Beck still attempts to get the police to eject the protagonist.

I point out that he has closed the meeting so there is nothing to be ejected from, at this he lambastes the police for their tardiness.

They quite rightly reply that they have had far more urgent things to do than eject 70 year old disabled people from Anston Parish council meetings.

It descends further into farce when Beck attempts to get the police to stop a man from filming, the man just carried on and calmly stated this is going on UTUBE can’t wait.

The moral of this story is that Beck and his cronies believe they are more important than a 70 year old disabled retired miner who only wanted an apology.

Dave Smith

To read more on Rotherham Comedy Club click here.

Madame Overall’s Acorn Antiques – 16 July 2012 – A Tale of Two Cities

ACORN ANTIQUES OF ANSTON – 16 JULY 2012
PARISH COUNCIL MEETING

A Tale of Two Cities
(Well –  Anston Nord et Sud)

Après La Fete National   (Bastille Day 14 July)
Aujourd’hui   –  We are mopping up (today)
Lots of blood and gore ici

FOUNTAIN:
A member of the public asked:
Why is this fountain, in the cemetery, not operational.
It is disintegrating and why is this.
Cllr Dalton (Labour) accepted that this fountain has not worked since installation and became full of green algae because  of this.

Q What expenditure has there been on this fountain
A Purchase of solar panel £700 – Installation cost approximately £2,000 plus various ongoing
maintenance costs  – Total – Well over £3,000 and counting
Q How long has this been going on
A c 2yrs, maybe more
Q Why was it leaking in the first installation process
A Non-waterproof cement used!!
Q Why is it now disintegrating
A  As Cllr Dalton admitted – The chemical they purchased to stop the algae was the wrong
sort and this is what is causing the disintegration!
Q SO – What are they going to do now
A The latest suggestion is – Ditch all that, fill it with soil and make it a flower bed!
Q So what are they going to do with the solar panel they purchased
A Computer says Don’t Knooooooooooooooow
More cost –  Compost – Plants & ongoing maintenance
WHAT A BUGGERS MUDDLE  –  AGAIN
ANSTON TAXPAYERS LOSE OUT YET AGAIN
Madame was pushed up the steps-made to kneel, the crowd boos and the knitters cackle – will she lose her head!

ANOTHER COMPLAINT AGAINST THE CHAIRMAN – Cllr Beck (Labour) – Le Tricoteur  – (Male Knitter)
Cllr Jepson (Independent) complained about the behaviour and inappropriate comments of the chairman Cllr Beck.
Q What happened, do tell
A At a previous meeting the Chairman shouted out disgraceful, disgraceful, disgraceful when Cllr Jepson abstained on a proposal.
Q Surely fellow councillors and members of the public considered his comments most
Inappropriate
A Yes most certainly
Cllr Thornton (Independent) said “The word disgraceful was used 3 times and I think that was highly inappropriate.  Round this table we are subject to a Code of Conduct, there were insults traded and other comments made.  We have one councillor laughing and shouting across the table to other councillors and if it is coming from the Chairman I suggest he needs to apologise.”
Q What happened then
A Cllr Beck said – It was a wrong thing to do
Cllr Thornton  said Thank you for the apology
Cllr Beck – IT WAS NOT AN APOLOGY

SO – The Chairman fails to apologise – There is most definitely one rule for faux aristocrats and one rule for citizens.
Lead him up the steps – OFF WITH HIS HEAD

LITTER:
John Ireland brought up the subject of litter between North (Nord) Anston Post Office and Narrow Lane.
Q WHAT – did he venture into enemy territory –
A Probably disorientated!

Cue  –  Cllr Dalton  jumps straight in to promote community litter pick:
“It is very much on each agenda at the moment.  It is very useful for people to let us know where they see litter.  We are on a programme of encouraging young people, schools and older people to do community litter picks.”

Q Isn’t this a question of Cllr Dalton self promoting her RMBC’s projects.
A  Of course, mix and mismatch RMBC and Parish Council business at every opportunity.

Cllr Thornton (Independent) pointed out that Cllr Dalton and other Labour RMBC councillors on the parish council voted for the cuts to Street Pride’s litter picking budget.

Q SO – Are we now employing children as slave labour due to budget cuts.
A Would seem so even though RMBC councillors take themselves off to expensive meals (at Aston Hall) at the taxpayer’s expense.

WHAT A BUGGERS MUDDLE – AGAIN
ANSTON TAXPAYERS LOSE OUT YET AGAIN
DROP THE BLADE – CHOP OFF THE HEAD – CLUNK INTO BASKET

The finest heckler Citizen Lewis –
“Are we now sending little lads up chimneys”
Q What was he referring to
A Oh the campaign to get schoolchildren to pick the litter of Anston
Q Were  the children from Greenlands school involved
A Yes – That is where Cllr Dalton is a governor
Q Don’t we pay rates for litter picking
A Yes – Mr Lewis that finest of hecklers has a very good point

Q Did Mr Lewis complain of RMBC’s profligacy
A Yes and of the rise in council house rents and the highest rates in the borough.
Q What happened then
A See below please
VIVRE  LA REVOLUTION –

And from another page of history
Q Did a lady from the Anston Nord give a history lesson to the councillors
A Oh Yes – She pointed out why the rates of Anston were so high.
Q Why are they
A Because Anston Parish Council raised money on the precept to fight the lady’s vehicular right to her cottage.
After the lady’s vehicular rights were confirmed by the court Anston Parish Council failed to take
the precept back down to the previous level.
Q How much was this
A  Around £80,000 we believe
Q You mean that has been kept on the precept
A Yes and most years they have applied a 5 or 10% increase on the precept
Q Goodness me  – What was behind this
A  A resident causing obstruction and damage by parking cars and dustbins on the village green
Q Was this parking legal
A NO
Q Why did Anston Parish Council allow this
A Well you would have to ask them
Q Has the lady spoken about this before at Anston Parish Council
A Most definitely
Q Did she say she had been threatened with closure of her access
A She most certainly did
Q Who had done so
A Robin Stonebridge threatened to close the access to the green a number of times and the clerk threatened to  close her access
Q And she has spoken of this before
A Oh yes and written to the parish council about how shameful it is that this money has not been given back to the public
Q And what was the response
A No answer was the firm reply!

Boy Wonder, Le Tricoteur – Trying to keep the lid on things refusing to let her continue

Q Didn’t Anston Parish Council go back to court to challenge the judge on his decision on costs
A They did – wasting more ratepayers money
Q What was the outcome of that
A The judge fined them on a time related indemnity basis
Q Does the lady have evidence
A Bien sur –  In spades.
Q Is that the whole story
A Watch this space

Q What happened whilst the member of the public was speaking
A John Thomas Ireland, the hopeless and hapless ex chairman, got up and started wandering about Iain St.John got up and started wandering about along with several others.

Poison Ivy aka Joyce Brindley grinning not paying attention to her knitting.
Dropped a stitch, dropped her demeanour dropped her credbility
Not bothered about the excessively high rates in Anston?
Not bothered about Madame la Guillotine
Just bothered about there being enought sweeties in the communal council sweetie bag

Q Had the meeting closed
A NO  – Councillors wandering about everywhere, chatting amongst themselves, taking sweeties from the bag – totally disrespecting members of the public.
Disgraceful and Shameful conduct by councillors
Chairman Beck – Le Tricoteur, had  lost complete control,

Tumbrels have rolled, the Bastille has been stormed – the citizens are free (but not in Anston) North & South –

Remember – le  pretend aristocrat – Darren Hughes – Jumped “out of the tumbrel” But still got the chop.
Liberte        (but not to speak ere mate)
Egalite,       (certainly not ere mate)
Fraternite, (only of the red sock frere’s mate)

– – It’s Anston Parish Council

Bonne nuit!
Madame Overall

Acorn Antiques – American Independence Day Edition

ACORN ANTIQUES OF ANSTON  – 4 JULY 2012

4th July – American Independence Day,
BANG GO THE DRUMS – CRASH GO THE CYMBALS –
Here come the Drum Majorettes,  It’s Independence Day    – Razzmatazz – Listen to the band – Fireworks – Ticker Tape – Oh it’s all here – Come and see!

FINANCE MEETING:

The Village Green
Good News, Good News – Cllrs Dalton & Beck confirmed Cllr Burton will pay for a steel guard to protect the new oak tree which is to replace the damaged sapling  planted for the WI Diamond Jubilee.
Unfortunately Cllr Burton was unable to attend the meeting.  Thank you Cllr Dalton & Beck for speaking on behalf of Cllr Burton.

Twirl the batons, launch them as high as you can and very well caught.

Save our Green Belt
Grant awarded for 2 hours free use of the Parish Hall. Passed with very little objection.
It appears all councillors, including RMBC councillors, were in agreement.
Q    Is it now a change of policy?
A     It would seem so
Q   Are some of the councillors now backtracking by backing the objection to building on our green belt.
A   Me thinks they are now building up green credentials – Maybe they will apply these to the much ravaged Village Green – Watch this space.

The marching  band is perfectly in tune – trombones raised Razzmatazz!! 

Old Library
Cllr Dalton  doesn’t seem to care that this defunct building is costing us, the ratepayers, c£5,000 per annum.  Well why should she – she lives in Dinno Land or is that La La Land.
She is inviting people in to try to form a youth group in this building –

Q   Hang on a bit – didn’t she vote for RMBC budget cuts – including Youth Services.
A   Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

Q   Why this determined struggle to keep this drain on our taxes –
A   Doesn’t cost her – she lives in Dinno Land whoops La La Land
Q   Who will pay to support any group that uses the Old Library.
A   Oh it will be Anston Tax Payers AGAIN
Q   Another U turn –
A   You bet – Conservative Policy  – The Big Society – When the cuts bite charities are asked to step in. Nice to see our Labour Councillor taking on Tory policies.

Have we got another defector in our midst? –looks like  Red to Blue this time!

The drum majorette drops the baton – stoops to pick it up and falls flat on her face.

Community Plan
Commmmmmmmmmmmmuniti   Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,  sooooooooooooooo  sloooooooooooow
Q   How long is the update of this plan going to take?
A   It is 6 months since they put the survey out
Q   Why is Iain St.John so keen to write this plan
A   What Iain St.John actually doing physical work for the council
Q   How long will it take him
A   Iain St. John says Don’t knooooooooooooo BUT Aggressively  jabbing his finger at the clerk saying “And don’t you think you are going to rush me”
Q   What is the deadline
A   September – a whole 2 months away – watch this space folks

Drum Majorette trying to regain her baton, trips up drummer as he bangs on – Oh dear!

Skate Park – Grant Request
Q   Was Cllr St.John moaning again about Tuesday night meetings for this group ‘cos it clashes with
his operatic rehearsals.
A   Yes – He was told the last time he made a song and dance about this – make the choice – The children’s Skate Park or the Dinnington Operatic Society –
Q   What did he choose
A   NO CONTEST – his social life takes priority
Q   Why does Iain St.John expect the meetings for this group to revolve around his social life
A   Don’t know but he seems well versed in making a song and dance and not only at Dinno Opratiks
Q  Hey wait a mo – What about disco INFERNO – Is he doing a John Travolta
A   Well you never know – perhaps he was practicing when jabbing his finger at the clerk.

Drummers trip up trombonists whilst onlookers dance to disco INFERNO

Press Media Article by Chairman Beck  Wriggle   Wriggle   Squirm   Squirm
The Chairman – Cllr Beck under severe pressure for breaking rules.

Q   Why what did he do – please tell
A    Well he gave a self promoting article to the Guardian & Advertiser Newspapers.
When challenged he tried to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes –
Q   How come
A   Well he was challenged on Standing Order 108 which says Councillors cannot contact newspapers
Q   Oh what did he do then
A   Oh he squirmed, quite slickly and said NO he had used Standing Order 107, which gives the Chairman authority to reply to requests from the press
Q  Are we to believe he was contacted on 2 separate occasions for the exact same story
A   Me thinks he will need to knit a bigger jumper for him to pull the wool over our eyes.

Open top Cadillac swerves to avoid trombonists, onlookers cheer as Freshman is tipped out and trips over his knitting

Free use of The Parish Hall for RMBC Surgeries
Q   Did new RMBC Councillor Clive Jepson, INDEPENDENT ask for clarification regarding free use of the Parish Hall  by RMBC councillors for their surgeries.
A   YES – The Labour Councillors have abused the hospitality of Anston taxpayers by voting for themselves to have free use of the parish hall for far too long
Q  So what happened – Did all councillors vote for costs to be paid for use of the parish hall by RMBC councillors
A   Don’t be daft – Cllrs St.John & Beck abstained!

A massive U turn and about time too.  Well Done councillors –  It would appear integrity is creeping in – Hooray  – Loud cheers and applause from the crowd

Razzmatazz   loud music,  light the fireworks ,  ticker tape floating down – We, like Things,  Are looking up

Emergency Plan
Q   Has the Parish Council  been asked to update the Emergency Plan
A   Oh I will tell
Q   Did a councillor with experience in this field say this plan has no instructions for the Chair, Vice Chair or anyone else.  It is an RMBC plan which makes the Parish Council subordinate to Ward Members.
A   Yes and was totally ignored by those who have never experienced extreme situations
Q  What was Councillor Dalton’s response
A  To produce a piece of paper from RMBC – not shown to councillors but given to the clerk to make an emergency plan up.

No Plan – No Idea – No Experience – No Hope – Bob Hope and  Envelope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear Rain falling on the parade, ground getting slippy, fireworks now damp squibs, tickertape damp and soggy,  all in a foggy! – What a wash out.
Bring on the Emergency Plan –  Whoooooooooooops –  What Plan?

Ah well!
To  Independent people everywhere
Go to bed – don’t have a care
Until tomorrow when you wake
You find your house sits in a lake

Call the Parish
Don’t be daft
Go and build yourself a raft

Goodnight all
Mrs Overall