The Day ‘Fly on the wall’ met the Queen and the Mayor came too!

I would like to tell you of an interesting day out I had, quite by accident, just the other day.

As you know by now, I can usually be seen hanging round the Town Hall most of the time, but lately have witnessed some pretty rum goings on at parish councils as well, I digress.

I had decided to spend the night in the Mayors car, it’s nice and cosy there and no spiders to worry about. I was awoken at a distinctly ungodly hour when the Mayor’s Attendant and Driver turned up early. We picked up the Mayor and Mayoress and their two guests and headed south, I was getting quite excited by now, this was well out of the ordinary. I soon got bored though, fell asleep by the time we had gone nearly 50 miles!

I only woke up when the party got out of the car, you’ll never guess where we were? Buckingham Palace!

I couldn’t resist following them in, they were at the Queens Garden Party! Some jolly this?

Endless photographs were taken for posterity and I was confident that this would make a splash in The Advertiser and a major good news story on the Mayor’s pages on the RMBC website.

For the time I was there I must say I enjoyed the food and especially drinking from the tiny splashes that result from sparkling wine, don’t think it was champagne though, like Darren used to supply, but never mind I got quite squiffy, don’t remember much after about a dozen! I fell asleep and only woke up the next day with a terrible hangover, once back in the Town Hall I felt quite satisfied by my accidental jolly along with the Mayor and Mayoress.

I kept checking RMBC’s website but nothing was mentioned there. Disappointment too, from the Advertiser. Zero, zilch was mentioned publicly, just what was going on?

This question got it’s answer when I bumped into a mate the other day, who usually hangs around in the press office. He told me, that they never draw attention to jollies like the trip to Buck House, because  the natives wouldn’t understand the selfless service that the Mayor, Mayoress and their two guests provided Rotherham citizens by going on their behalf. The drinking and eating were entirely selfless acts, he explained, as was meeting the Queen and tugging the forelock!

I had bumped into a Rotherham State Secret no less, or at least that was the way it was explained to me! That, and the express insistence that I never, ever, raised questions about the cost of, unmentionable in public, jollies like this. The penalty for indiscretion, the fly spray!

I went back to my usual haunt, terrified by the potential difficulties I was now in. Once I stopped shaking, I started to think and I got very angry!!

I couldn’t keep this to myself so I’ve shared it with you. I feel much better now that it’s off my chest, but I’m sure that fly spray dodging will be the order of the day on Monday, oh dear!

Fly on the wall

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