Sir Nutkin had a dream

Sir Nutkin was sound asleep in his four poster bed in his luxurious holiday home. As he slept a strange dream came to him; he dreamt he had died and gone to heaven.
At the gates stood St Peter, Sir Nutkin went to go in; sorry said St Peter you can’t come in; but I am Sir Nutkin he said, his tail bristling. The problem we have said St Peter is that we don’t usually get squirrels of your high rank up here; so we have to follow a procedure. The procedure is that you spend 24hrs in hell and 24hrs in heaven; then you get to choose which you prefer. 
So off Sir Nutkin goes to hell, he is met by the amiable devil, better known as Mr Lewis, with a smile and a glass of champagne. All his friends are there, including the Japanese pharmaceuticals.
They have a high old time, charging it all to expenses; alas it is time for Sir Nutkin to take his leave and return to heaven. He had a nice time relaxing and learning to be a liar, Editor: don’t you mean learning to play the lyre?
Anyway his 24hrs were up and he faced St Peter; who asked him for his decision. Sir Nutkin told him, it is nice in heaven but I am used to living the life they live in hell so I vote to go there. So off he went.
When the lift doors opened there was Mr Lewis, better known as the devil, with an evil grin on his face; welcome Sir Nutkin you bucket and shovel are over there. Sir Nutkin saw his friends up to their waists in s–t  shovelling for all they were worth.
Sir Nutkin turned to the devil, better known as Mr Lewis, and said it wasn’t like this the last time I came down here; ah said the devil, better known as Mr Lewis, but that was when we were after your vote.
Sir Nutkin awoke with a start, then he realised it was only a dream. But for his constituents the reality still goes on.
Dave Smith

13 thoughts on “Sir Nutkin had a dream

  1. I get that you really don’t like Barron. But what exactly is the point of this juvenile drivel that you keep insisting on producing? If you have so much time on your hands, why don’t you do something useful?

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    • @ ForensikX….A very good analogy by provided by Dave and not juvenile in application…. Think about it… A good life principal for anyone with an analytical mind …

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  2. I read a version of this joke in the Charlie Greaves section of the Rotherham Advertiser this week and thought it was amusing but this is a good local adaptation.

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  3. Forensic I find it sad that you can’t find politics amusing, do something useful you say; I am a Town councillor I am standing for election to the Borough. Out every day delivering my own leaflets, by the way what are you doing besides being a keyboard warrior. New Rothpol follower I have to admit I did plagiarise from that source.
    Dave Smith

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  4. Dave, if an unoriginal comedian, at least has a sense of humour. He also provides an alternative to incompetent power hungry Labour and the divisive right wing at a local level. So he gets my vote as I am lucky enough to live in his ward. However, at national level, apart from the very expensive option of standing oneself, there is no non Labour, non right wing, non coalition alternative in Rother Valley. Looks like a spoilt paper for the first time ever. I shall probably simply write “1400” in the box next to Mr Barron’s name so, when his agent tries to claim it as a vote at the count, the other agents can point out his embarrassing inaction on the issue. Perhaps we should all do that? Alternatively I might write to him, pledging my vote, but pointing out that this is the lesser of many evils, that he is an ineffective MP on behalf of ordinary people and that we are going to be scrutinising his lack of performance in future…

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  5. No probs somebody got to stand up to this dinnington council and get our feelings across and give our young people some hope that things can get better

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  6. No probs somebody got to stand up to this dinnington council and get our feelings across and give our young people hope that things can change and get better

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