some news from the hustings

Councillor Mallender: I have had meetings with my colleagues, that I am not prepared to tell you about, because Dinnington was never mentioned. When I have decorated the house I will have further such meetings and I won’t tell you about them either. I also attended a special meeting in Dinnington for a cup of tea with a friend.

Councillor Tweed: I have made several speeches in the council chamber, all of which were on the same subject, they consisted of, ” I second that “. I have, for the second year running won the Dinnington Borough Councillor hide and seek cup, again I have not been able to be found for a full year.

Candidate Vjestica: I came first in the hide and seek cup but had it taken from me because I am not a councillor. I single handedly moved Rotherham College from Rotherham to Dinnington, as I am sure you will agree this was a mammoth task. I have been a desk jockey at Rotherham Borough Council for thirty years, you know the one, the council not fit for purpose. I know all the people there so this will be a big help in knowing what Dinnington needs then ignoring it.

We would also like to thank Jimmy for delivering our leaflets so we don’t have to. It also helps us not to have to answer awkward questions; just like on our Facebook site.

We would also like to thank Sir Nutkin for his wonderful endorsement of us and his advice on how to deal with our expenses should we be elected.

Look out for more news from the front, there might not be much, because like the generals in the First World War, we won’t be there.

Dave Smith

2 thoughts on “some news from the hustings

  1. Oh dear, you are wasting your words. They have all had their funny bones removed.

    Will I be sued for this?

    Dinnington is haunted by ghosts.
    Now these are not the heavenly hosts;
    As they creep and they cringe
    And grovel and whinge,
    When returned you’ll hear nothing but boasts.

    Can you please tell any libel lawyer if i am challenged I will apologise and withdraw and that will save on the postage!

    Like

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