Anston Comedy Club – The Principal Players

Gallery

The Anston comedy club has to be seen to be believed, we have Shouter Beck who whilst chair called the police to a disabled pensioner just because he wanted his letter reading out. Then we have Dippy Burton who refuses … Continue reading

Anston Parish Council – Meeting Monday 25th February

Rotherham Politics has just learned that Michael Gazur has summoned the parish council to a meeting on Monday 25 February at 7pm in the parish hall!

Democracy in action? An experience not to be missed by the locals.

New to this story? Comedy Club? Farce certainly! and Rotherham’s Comedy Club, provide essential reading and hours of amusement.

Comedy Club? Farce certainly!

This report from last nights meeting of Anston Parish Council, it’s brilliant!

Dominic Beck last night, 18th February, provided us with the answer to the conundrum, who does the Rotherham Labour Party believe are the more important themselves or the electorate?

Last night I attended the monthly meeting of the Anston Parish Council, better known as the comedy club, with shouter Beck in the chair.

Amongst the public attending was a 70 year old disabled retired miner.  Over four weeks ago he wrote to the council clerk with a complaint about the conduct of a Parish councillor, he never received a reply.  Yet here it was as an item on the agenda.

So, as we all would, he expects to get a response, Beck with the help of Dalton attempt to fob the man off, this is no surprise as the councillor being complained about is none other than St John, better known as Sinjin.

However the man is not in any mood to allow his complaint to be swept under the carpet and demands the letter be read out.

Beck using his usual vociferous demeanor orders the man to shut up, his reply to this was just read out the letter.
Beck once again shouts at him to be quiet, all this does is antagonise  him further.

Any chairman worth his salt would realise that the situation was getting out of hand, so to placate the man he would have had the letter read out.

However the egomaniac that is Dominic Beck can not see this so he escalates it by vehemently ordering the 70 year old disabled man to leave the meeting, he of course refuses.

So in the best traditions of the Labour party, remember the 80 year old man they had forcefully ejected from their conference, shouter Beck adjourns the meeting and calls the police to eject this man.

The majority of the public remain behind to support the dissident.
An hour goes by with no sign of the police, things are now developing into a major farce Beck is making himself and the rest of the council a laughing stock.  9.30 pm arrives the time that standing orders dictates that proceedings should finish so Beck with due aplomb reopens the meeting councillor Dalton immediately leaps to his aid and moves suspension of standing orders for half an hour Beck straight away adjourns the meeting again.

This proves how inept he is at chairing the meeting he can not adjourn the meeting again without discussion.
It was patently obvious the tactics being used by Beck and Dalton was to delay proceedings until the police arrived, they wanted to show the rest of us what could be in store for us if we step out of line; we were quaking.

Alas the well laid plans of Beck and Dalton came to naught, at ten o’clock he had to close the meeting with barely a quorum of councillors left.

At this point the police arrived to much cheering and clapping from the public, Beck still attempts to get the police to eject the protagonist.

I point out that he has closed the meeting so there is nothing to be ejected from, at this he lambastes the police for their tardiness.

They quite rightly reply that they have had far more urgent things to do than eject 70 year old disabled people from Anston Parish council meetings.

It descends further into farce when Beck attempts to get the police to stop a man from filming, the man just carried on and calmly stated this is going on UTUBE can’t wait.

The moral of this story is that Beck and his cronies believe they are more important than a 70 year old disabled retired miner who only wanted an apology.

Dave Smith

To read more on Rotherham Comedy Club click here.

Acorn Antiques – American Independence Day Edition

ACORN ANTIQUES OF ANSTON  – 4 JULY 2012

4th July – American Independence Day,
BANG GO THE DRUMS – CRASH GO THE CYMBALS –
Here come the Drum Majorettes,  It’s Independence Day    – Razzmatazz – Listen to the band – Fireworks – Ticker Tape – Oh it’s all here – Come and see!

FINANCE MEETING:

The Village Green
Good News, Good News – Cllrs Dalton & Beck confirmed Cllr Burton will pay for a steel guard to protect the new oak tree which is to replace the damaged sapling  planted for the WI Diamond Jubilee.
Unfortunately Cllr Burton was unable to attend the meeting.  Thank you Cllr Dalton & Beck for speaking on behalf of Cllr Burton.

Twirl the batons, launch them as high as you can and very well caught.

Save our Green Belt
Grant awarded for 2 hours free use of the Parish Hall. Passed with very little objection.
It appears all councillors, including RMBC councillors, were in agreement.
Q    Is it now a change of policy?
A     It would seem so
Q   Are some of the councillors now backtracking by backing the objection to building on our green belt.
A   Me thinks they are now building up green credentials – Maybe they will apply these to the much ravaged Village Green – Watch this space.

The marching  band is perfectly in tune – trombones raised Razzmatazz!! 

Old Library
Cllr Dalton  doesn’t seem to care that this defunct building is costing us, the ratepayers, c£5,000 per annum.  Well why should she – she lives in Dinno Land or is that La La Land.
She is inviting people in to try to form a youth group in this building –

Q   Hang on a bit – didn’t she vote for RMBC budget cuts – including Youth Services.
A   Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

Q   Why this determined struggle to keep this drain on our taxes –
A   Doesn’t cost her – she lives in Dinno Land whoops La La Land
Q   Who will pay to support any group that uses the Old Library.
A   Oh it will be Anston Tax Payers AGAIN
Q   Another U turn –
A   You bet – Conservative Policy  – The Big Society – When the cuts bite charities are asked to step in. Nice to see our Labour Councillor taking on Tory policies.

Have we got another defector in our midst? –looks like  Red to Blue this time!

The drum majorette drops the baton – stoops to pick it up and falls flat on her face.

Community Plan
Commmmmmmmmmmmmuniti   Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,  sooooooooooooooo  sloooooooooooow
Q   How long is the update of this plan going to take?
A   It is 6 months since they put the survey out
Q   Why is Iain St.John so keen to write this plan
A   What Iain St.John actually doing physical work for the council
Q   How long will it take him
A   Iain St. John says Don’t knooooooooooooo BUT Aggressively  jabbing his finger at the clerk saying “And don’t you think you are going to rush me”
Q   What is the deadline
A   September – a whole 2 months away – watch this space folks

Drum Majorette trying to regain her baton, trips up drummer as he bangs on – Oh dear!

Skate Park – Grant Request
Q   Was Cllr St.John moaning again about Tuesday night meetings for this group ‘cos it clashes with
his operatic rehearsals.
A   Yes – He was told the last time he made a song and dance about this – make the choice – The children’s Skate Park or the Dinnington Operatic Society –
Q   What did he choose
A   NO CONTEST – his social life takes priority
Q   Why does Iain St.John expect the meetings for this group to revolve around his social life
A   Don’t know but he seems well versed in making a song and dance and not only at Dinno Opratiks
Q  Hey wait a mo – What about disco INFERNO – Is he doing a John Travolta
A   Well you never know – perhaps he was practicing when jabbing his finger at the clerk.

Drummers trip up trombonists whilst onlookers dance to disco INFERNO

Press Media Article by Chairman Beck  Wriggle   Wriggle   Squirm   Squirm
The Chairman – Cllr Beck under severe pressure for breaking rules.

Q   Why what did he do – please tell
A    Well he gave a self promoting article to the Guardian & Advertiser Newspapers.
When challenged he tried to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes –
Q   How come
A   Well he was challenged on Standing Order 108 which says Councillors cannot contact newspapers
Q   Oh what did he do then
A   Oh he squirmed, quite slickly and said NO he had used Standing Order 107, which gives the Chairman authority to reply to requests from the press
Q  Are we to believe he was contacted on 2 separate occasions for the exact same story
A   Me thinks he will need to knit a bigger jumper for him to pull the wool over our eyes.

Open top Cadillac swerves to avoid trombonists, onlookers cheer as Freshman is tipped out and trips over his knitting

Free use of The Parish Hall for RMBC Surgeries
Q   Did new RMBC Councillor Clive Jepson, INDEPENDENT ask for clarification regarding free use of the Parish Hall  by RMBC councillors for their surgeries.
A   YES – The Labour Councillors have abused the hospitality of Anston taxpayers by voting for themselves to have free use of the parish hall for far too long
Q  So what happened – Did all councillors vote for costs to be paid for use of the parish hall by RMBC councillors
A   Don’t be daft – Cllrs St.John & Beck abstained!

A massive U turn and about time too.  Well Done councillors –  It would appear integrity is creeping in – Hooray  – Loud cheers and applause from the crowd

Razzmatazz   loud music,  light the fireworks ,  ticker tape floating down – We, like Things,  Are looking up

Emergency Plan
Q   Has the Parish Council  been asked to update the Emergency Plan
A   Oh I will tell
Q   Did a councillor with experience in this field say this plan has no instructions for the Chair, Vice Chair or anyone else.  It is an RMBC plan which makes the Parish Council subordinate to Ward Members.
A   Yes and was totally ignored by those who have never experienced extreme situations
Q  What was Councillor Dalton’s response
A  To produce a piece of paper from RMBC – not shown to councillors but given to the clerk to make an emergency plan up.

No Plan – No Idea – No Experience – No Hope – Bob Hope and  Envelope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear Rain falling on the parade, ground getting slippy, fireworks now damp squibs, tickertape damp and soggy,  all in a foggy! – What a wash out.
Bring on the Emergency Plan –  Whoooooooooooops –  What Plan?

Ah well!
To  Independent people everywhere
Go to bed – don’t have a care
Until tomorrow when you wake
You find your house sits in a lake

Call the Parish
Don’t be daft
Go and build yourself a raft

Goodnight all
Mrs Overall

Comedy Club Reporter – Bland Comedy Club of Dinnington

I, and that finest of hecklers, Mr Lewis attended the Bland Comedy Club of Dinnington last night. The final performance before the summer break, and what a performance the blandness knew no bounds.

Unless of course you can take joy from that seasoned comedian Warbling Wardle whose mantra has become, “nothing to do with us that is R.M.B.C business”.  This is used to fend off any unwanted question that might require an answer or decision.

I, in my capacity as comedy reporter, felt the need to ask a question of the assembled comedians:

Do the comedians feel it is right for the Dinnington club to have a comedian who is a member of the Woodsetts club, the Dinnington club and also the biggest comedy club of all Rotherham Borough?  Or do they feel as I do that this is an affront to democracy?

This question briefly animated the warbler, he shook his head at me several times whilst trying to find a way to use his well worn mantra.  Having failed in his efforts he then blurted out that afore mentioned comedian was a Borough comedian for all of our area.  This brought to mind that well known saying, no shit sherlock.

My rejoinder that this was not the question I had in fact asked brought more shaking of the head.  When I pointed out that if a person has a foot in two camps when it comes to decision making then that person would have a dichotomy.  This brought a short interlude whilst they tied to find the meaning of the word, having failed the chair decided to throw into the fray the said comedian; this being I have a turnip named after me Tweed (prepare for the slings and arrows of Toxophilus).  He began by listing the things he is involved in, in Dinnington which thus, according to him, proves his loyalty to Dinnington.

The question what about your loyalty to Woodsetts? fell on deaf ears.  The chair said it was the system that allowed this to happen.  When I pointed out that they chose the candidates and so were culpable, she said it was obvious they were never going to be able answer my question to my satisfaction.  Mr Lewis, that finest of hecklers, stepped in and shouted “you could at least try”.

Ah well on to the real important and interesting stuff, dog faeces,  no you have not misread I said dog faeces.  There followed a heated debate on this sticky subject, it even allowed the warbler to trot out his mantra;  this is nothing to do with us it is R.M.B.C.  It is if tha stands in it heckled Mr lewis, and I am sure you will all know that the outcome was, make no decision.

I was somewhat surprised when one of the comedians, whilst sat beside two Borough comedians, one of witch was an ugly sister; asked if some one from the borough could come and explain the Local Development Framework.  Doesn’t really show much faith in ones fellow comedians does it?

Once again the Bernard Manning of the bland comedy club, Mr Tweed, stepped up to the microphone.  We and our fellow borough comedians from the Anston comedy club along with Kevin Barron M.P. are going to have a meeting with a couple of the top R.M.B.C comedians to put our case.  This brought forth a flush to the cheeks of the warbler, he did not want us mixing with the Anston comedians.  He felt that they may taint our comedians because they supported de brethren building on our green belt land.  He was so agitated by this thought that he proposed that Dinnington should re-iterate its opposition to the plan, this was seconded but of course no vote was taken because this would have meant a decision being made.

Just before Mr Lewis and myself left, there was a thunder clap and a bright light appeared, a momentous happening had taken place, a decision had been made; yes I said a DECISION.

The Dinnington comedians would send a letter of protest to the borough comedians about them taking 30 minutes off the time our library is open.  It was pointed out that ours is the second highest used library in the borough, and our comedians were some what put out that an under used library at Aston should be given longer opening hours, it is amazing what we Smiths can achieve, although I hasten to add, no relation.

Dave Smith