Comedy Club Reporter – Bland Comedy Club of Dinnington

I, and that finest of hecklers, Mr Lewis attended the Bland Comedy Club of Dinnington last night. The final performance before the summer break, and what a performance the blandness knew no bounds.

Unless of course you can take joy from that seasoned comedian Warbling Wardle whose mantra has become, “nothing to do with us that is R.M.B.C business”.  This is used to fend off any unwanted question that might require an answer or decision.

I, in my capacity as comedy reporter, felt the need to ask a question of the assembled comedians:

Do the comedians feel it is right for the Dinnington club to have a comedian who is a member of the Woodsetts club, the Dinnington club and also the biggest comedy club of all Rotherham Borough?  Or do they feel as I do that this is an affront to democracy?

This question briefly animated the warbler, he shook his head at me several times whilst trying to find a way to use his well worn mantra.  Having failed in his efforts he then blurted out that afore mentioned comedian was a Borough comedian for all of our area.  This brought to mind that well known saying, no shit sherlock.

My rejoinder that this was not the question I had in fact asked brought more shaking of the head.  When I pointed out that if a person has a foot in two camps when it comes to decision making then that person would have a dichotomy.  This brought a short interlude whilst they tied to find the meaning of the word, having failed the chair decided to throw into the fray the said comedian; this being I have a turnip named after me Tweed (prepare for the slings and arrows of Toxophilus).  He began by listing the things he is involved in, in Dinnington which thus, according to him, proves his loyalty to Dinnington.

The question what about your loyalty to Woodsetts? fell on deaf ears.  The chair said it was the system that allowed this to happen.  When I pointed out that they chose the candidates and so were culpable, she said it was obvious they were never going to be able answer my question to my satisfaction.  Mr Lewis, that finest of hecklers, stepped in and shouted “you could at least try”.

Ah well on to the real important and interesting stuff, dog faeces,  no you have not misread I said dog faeces.  There followed a heated debate on this sticky subject, it even allowed the warbler to trot out his mantra;  this is nothing to do with us it is R.M.B.C.  It is if tha stands in it heckled Mr lewis, and I am sure you will all know that the outcome was, make no decision.

I was somewhat surprised when one of the comedians, whilst sat beside two Borough comedians, one of witch was an ugly sister; asked if some one from the borough could come and explain the Local Development Framework.  Doesn’t really show much faith in ones fellow comedians does it?

Once again the Bernard Manning of the bland comedy club, Mr Tweed, stepped up to the microphone.  We and our fellow borough comedians from the Anston comedy club along with Kevin Barron M.P. are going to have a meeting with a couple of the top R.M.B.C comedians to put our case.  This brought forth a flush to the cheeks of the warbler, he did not want us mixing with the Anston comedians.  He felt that they may taint our comedians because they supported de brethren building on our green belt land.  He was so agitated by this thought that he proposed that Dinnington should re-iterate its opposition to the plan, this was seconded but of course no vote was taken because this would have meant a decision being made.

Just before Mr Lewis and myself left, there was a thunder clap and a bright light appeared, a momentous happening had taken place, a decision had been made; yes I said a DECISION.

The Dinnington comedians would send a letter of protest to the borough comedians about them taking 30 minutes off the time our library is open.  It was pointed out that ours is the second highest used library in the borough, and our comedians were some what put out that an under used library at Aston should be given longer opening hours, it is amazing what we Smiths can achieve, although I hasten to add, no relation.

Dave Smith

Mrs Overalls latest play – The Farce which is Anston parish council

ACORN ANTIQUES

JOTTINGS FROM “A QUALITY PARISH COUNCIL!!”

Tell the children that the pantomime season is now well and truly over.

Our theatrical performers have now moved into a new genre. THE FARCE.

THE FARCE – which is – Anston Parish Council

Scene 1. Act 1

Question: Why did Cllr.Liz O’Brian do a cover up job for Iain St.John?
Answer: Maybe she practising to be a magician!

Question: Did she blush beetroot red whilst telling her very elaborate story – That Iain St.John did leave the room after he declared “An Interest!?”
Answer: YES – BRIGHT RED

Question: Did she turn round 180 degrees to see him leave the room?
Answer: NO: she had her back to the door.

Question: Did Iain St.John leave the room?
Answer: NO NO NO – Members of the public emphatically state – He walked over and stood looking at the map which is by the door but in the meeting room.

See Pantomime post of December 2011.

Lying, covering up, dissembling? – All part of the tatty tapestry that is Anston Parish Council.

Scene 1. Act 2

TOO MUCH INTEREST Councillor Joyce Brindley

Question: When did it become acceptable for a parish councillor to comment, in a meeting, about the private life of a member of the public, who was present?
Answer: Never – Cllr Joyce Brindley’s behaviour has in the past, been less than professional and she continues her spleen venting, this time on a member of the public.

Question: Should Cllr Joyce Brindley avail herself of some standards?
Answer: Yes she should – and that goes for the majority of this less than trustworthy lot.

She has been buying into false information – She should ask for a refund!

Scene 1. Act 3

Anston Village Green:

Question: Did a member of the public ask when the track on the south side was going to be repaired?
Answer: Yes

Queston: Did The Clerk, say it had been repaired?
Answer: Yes he did

Question: Was this contested?
Answer: Vehemently

Question: Did Anston Parish Council allow this track to be deliberately damaged & destroyed?
Answer: Oh yes, despite being advised, repeatedly.

Question: In the past did Robin Stonebridge say that he personally would not do any repairs on the village green until hell froze over?
Answer: Absolutely he did – discrimination again.

Question: Has not the Clerk, said in the past, the council have no obligation to repair this track?
Answer: Oh yes he has.

Question: Does Anston Parish Council have a duty to protect & maintain the Village Green which is vested in them?
Answer: Most certainly they do

Question: Then why did they allow a resident of Anston Village Green to systematically destroy the area?
Answer: Good question.

Watch this space good people and learn much more.

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This is Anston Parish Council’s repair!

End of Scene 1.

Scramble to the bar. We need a drink to fortify ourselves for what is to come.

Lights down, Curtain up.

Scene 2. Act.1

Litter:

Question: Did The Clerk say the Green had been litter picked that day?
Answer: Yes he did

Question: Then why is there still a substantial amount of litter on the perimeter that has been there for a very long time?
Answer: Because we are waiting for the wind of change! This then will blow it away!

Question: Did Chairman John Ireland say to the effect “There’s more to Anston than the Village Green. Would that be the Loyal Trooper public house by any chance?
Answer: Make up your own mind audience.

Scene 2. Act.2

Boy Wonder – Booming Beck

Question: Who is this young person trying to impress by booming out unimpressively loudly and aggressively?
Answer: Probably Iain St.John, It does appear he has donned his mantle, shame it’s not the cloak of invisibility.

Question: Does this boy not realise he is emulating Yesterday’s Men?
Answer: Does not care?

Question: Is it appropriate for Booming Beck and Judy Dalton (Vice Chair) to sit sniggering in a pathetic congratulatory way when Booming Beck has delivered one of his tirades?
Answer: NO – but then who cares about decorum – it is Anston Parish Council!

Scene 2. Act.3

The Hapless & Hopeless Chairman Ireland

Question: What on earth or moreover what planet, any planet, is he on?
Answer: Who knows – the only hope for Anston is that he will be sucked into a black hole!

Questions: Did he remain in his seat as Chair during a complaint against him?
Did a member of the public point out his error?
Did the Chairman refuse to take note of correct procedure?
Did he fail to ask for a seconder before evicting Cllr Thornton?
Did he say he didn’t need to?
Did he then realise he should have done so?
Did he then say he already had – and it was Joyce Brindley!!!?
Did he then over look Joyce Brindley “co-operating” with Iain St.John to say she had?
Did he then………………

Oh well – you get the picture

Answers: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES & YES

Question: Who had planned the ambush?
Answer: Surely not Iain St.John!

Question: Did Joyce Brindley just happen to have her Standing Orders before her and open at Section 50?
Answer: Oh yes – You bet she did

And why – Because Cllr.Thornton was, yet again, pointing out the errors under which Anston Parish Council was operating.

To quote Corporal Jones – “They don’t like it up em sir.” Should that be cur?

SO HERE WE GO AGAIN – YES WE DO – YET AGAIN – yawn – and again

Voting to evict Cllr.Thornton from the meeting.

Question: Did Iain St.John turn in his chair to face Cllr Thornton as he was leaving?
Answer: Yes

Question: Was he grinning and gloating?
Answer: As a child might after a playground spat.

Question: Did Cllr St.John then become very full of himself and start showing off in the meeting?
Answer: Well what do you think

Question: Do we need to know he has been out on his bike?
Answer: Don’t give a twopenny toss – Not relevant to the meeting, like so much of what comes out of his mouth.

(Fado would have had endless material from this lot of “under” performers!)

HOW VERSATILE THIS LOT ARE! Now from Farce to Tragedy

THE TRAGEDY

That Anston has this majority of under performers, playing to and for benefit of The Master Puppeteer.

Question: Has Chairman Ireland admitted to being Ian St.John’s puppet?
Answer: Oh yes, on a number of occasions.

Well we will see how Anston Parish Council is themed at it’s next performance. Come, come and see, if you can stand it. Why should we suffer alone? A good night out! Entrance free.

Lights up – curtain down – NO THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE AND PLEEEEZE NO ENCORE

To paraphrase Rogerson:

If drama were a person (St.John)
He would be a stern and noble fellow (Not)
If it was a comedy (St.John)
He would be a jovial chap (Not)
But if it were a tragedy (Most definitely)
He would be like a solemn girl. (Sure thing)

If drama were a tree (St.John)
He would be a grand old oak. (What a joke)
If it were a comedy (St.John)
He would be the merry beech (Nut)
But if it were tragedy (Most definitely)
He would be a weeping willow. (Surely Twisted Willow!)

Goodnight All

Mrs Overall

The Players:
Michael Gazur – clerk
Martin Crowther
Joyce Brindley
Liz Bridges
Liz O Brien
Clive Jepson
John Ireland
Judy Dalton
Dominic Beck
Steve Baker
Gordon Jarvis
Stuart Thornton
Iain St John

Supporting Cast:
Mr D Smith and his Professional Heckler Mr Brian Lewis – Dave Smith did not speak.
Bill Brindley husband of Joyce Brindley. At odds/verbally aggressive/confrontational with Brian Lewis.
The Chairman allowed Bill Brindley to speak at will, despite not being a parish councillor, his status at the meeting was that of a member of the public. He certainly should not have had a go at Stuart Thornton.
The Chairman – Ireland, as you might expect, did bugger all about it!

Representatives of The Brethren were there!! But did not speak!

Brethren School – Why did local citizens object?

Rotherham Politics brings you this objection letter from local resident, Hilary Estrada-Haigh:

OBJECTION – TO – PROPOSED SCHOOL & CARETAKER’S HOUSE   –  COMMON LANE, ANSTON.
                             For the Exclusive Brethren.
REASONS:
THIS SITE IS IN THE GREEN BELT
THIS SITE DOES NOT COMPLY WITH THE UNITARY DEVELOPMENT PLAN
If this application is passed it will give the Green Light for development on all Green Belt.
This area, has, over the years, lost a great deal of its open space – The Green Belt should be protected for both the area and the environment.
TRAFFIC
Increased Traffic: 
The wear & tear on our roads will increase significantly
Large vehicles would be coming from a wide area, travelling through Anston & surrounding villages putting pressure on small country roads and surrounding communities. These are already heavily trafficked.
500 Worshippers, travelling in their own large vehicles to the site on  a Sunday – How many times?
Worshippers travelling in their own large vehicles to services and meetings throughout the week.
Weddings & funerals to be catered for –
Service vehicles both large and lesser sized will have a serious impact on the approach roads and on Common Lane.
Large people carriers ferrying the children to and from the school – note the end of day time –
This is when the roads in the immediate area are at one of their most busiest.
ALL the above ADDING TO THE ONEROUS BURDEN ON OUR ROADS
UPGRADING OF ROADS

 

If granted, the surrounding roads would have to be upgraded. Would RMBC consider it correct to put this burden on the hard pressed ratepayers?
OUR ROADS ARE ALREADY IN A PARLOUS STATE
THE SCHOOL
Not for the benefit of the local area’s children
 
This school is for the sole use of the children of the Brethren.
No local children will be offered education.
No integration with other schools will be sought
The Brethren wish to move their children from an industrial site??
The Brethren are moving their children to the vicinity of an industrial site – one that is being investigated for noxious emissions –
The reasoning is cynical – not sound.
NB: Local schools have involved their children in the planting of trees, shrubs, wild flowers etc., in order to teach them to protect and care for their environment,
The proposed Brethren school – Destroys a large open green space – It is destructive to the environment
BENEFITS TO OUR AREA:
There will be  NO benefits to Anston, neither social nor economic.  Nor to the surrounding communities.
This will not bring work for local people – The Exclusive Brethren do everything “In House”
THE SITE:
Partial development on the site is being sought.
Local concern is for what the remainder of the site is being held-back. 
NB:   (Whilst planners may say they are dealing with the application before them, they have been in close negotiations with the Brethren over a protracted period and will undoubtedly have knowledge of what is being held in abeyance for the future.) 
A corner of the site has been offered to RMBC to “help” facilitate a roundabout at the cross-roads junction.
This is a sop – NO MONETARY CONTRIBUTION HAS BEEN OFFERED.
Does RMBC, if granted, have plans to impose this cost on the hard pressed ratepayers of our area.
 This development takes away Green Belt land –
                              Is solely for the benefit of the Exclusive Brethren –
                              Offers no benefit whatsoever to Anston & area.
For the above reasons I urge that this proposal be declined.
Hilary Estrada-Haigh
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Hilary also makes these important points:

So Darren Hughes has been working behind the scenes with these people and planners, regardless of cost, both monetary and environmental, to the area he is supposed to represent.

This is the man who defected to Labour regardless of the parishioners over 1500 of whom, voted in a Conservative.

What other machinations are going on behind the scenes – How many more betrayals?

‘Cult’ wants to build school on Anston’s greenbelt!

A Christian group, with some pretty unchristian practises, has applied to RMBC for planning permission to build a place of worship and a school on greenbelt land at Anston. This application has received the backing of Labour or so it would appear, but for the locals, this application is distinctly unwelcome.

Firstly, this application, if successful, will be sited on greenbelt land at Anston!

This aspect alone will galvanise the community to oppose the scheme and the rumblings of increased community activity and organisation are plain for all to see. To find out more and to make your voice heard, see the Save our Greenbelt Dinnington & Anston Action Group website. Every inch of greenbelt use must be opposed, lest they just pick each piece off, one at a time! Going for the weakest first! The divide and rule tactic has been tried and didn’t work, leaving slices of the greenbelt apparently undefended will rebound on those that allow this to happen! Anston residents do this at their peril!

Clive Jepson has learned that all three Anston & Woodsetts councillors are in favour and in Darren ‘the defector’ Hughes case, has been working with them on planning issues for the last year!

Quite outrageous! Does he not understand the feelings of Anston residents? Well he wouldn’t would he? Darren lives in Catcliffe! Has he not consistently said, he opposed using greenbelt land. What a hypocrite!!!! But then, he has been a turncoat in the past!

Secondly, The nature of the applicants!

Ultimately, whoever they call themselves on a planning application, the applicants and those who will be running the school are variously called the Exclusive Brethren, the Brethren as on the original planning application or sometimes the Raven/Taylor Brethren.

It is alarming that this group should now appear to be hiding behind nominees, to confuse the casual observer at least, as to who is behind this project. Indeed, this lack of candour is a worrying development and goes to their basic honesty! It they fail on the basic honesty question, can anything they say, possibly be trusted?

Christian friends have told me, that even for a bunch of Christians they are distinctly left-field! Mostly active in the UK and Australia they have been accused of ‘cult’ practises, unfortunately, not without good reason!

The term ‘Exclusive’ refers to the fact that this group demands separation from the rest of society, even refusing to live in semi-detached properties unless the other is also occupied by a fellow adherent.

This school will only accept the children of members, so it is unlikely that any local children will be welcomed to their ‘exclusive’ school.

Their approach to education has been followed by trenchant denunciation where ever they have operated schools. Not the least for their treatment of science which tends to ignore all scientific developments since 1848! The access of students to books of all kinds is severely limited and those that are allowed them, heavily censored.

This group are apparently given to controlling their own members in similar ways that cults operate and is aimed at ensuring total domination of the individual to the group.

The Exclusive Brethren are not an open and welcoming bunch of Christians at all. Quite the reverse in fact! I find it incredible that this proposal should gather support from any Labour politician and very worrying that they appear to have been actively helping this project along, in contradiction to their public utterances on the greenbelt! But that’s Darren Hughes for you!

Where is Kevin Barron, the MP for Rother Valley constituency on this proposal? He surely cannot be in favour too! We shall see?