Acorn Antiques – American Independence Day Edition

ACORN ANTIQUES OF ANSTON  – 4 JULY 2012

4th July – American Independence Day,
BANG GO THE DRUMS – CRASH GO THE CYMBALS –
Here come the Drum Majorettes,  It’s Independence Day    – Razzmatazz – Listen to the band – Fireworks – Ticker Tape – Oh it’s all here – Come and see!

FINANCE MEETING:

The Village Green
Good News, Good News – Cllrs Dalton & Beck confirmed Cllr Burton will pay for a steel guard to protect the new oak tree which is to replace the damaged sapling  planted for the WI Diamond Jubilee.
Unfortunately Cllr Burton was unable to attend the meeting.  Thank you Cllr Dalton & Beck for speaking on behalf of Cllr Burton.

Twirl the batons, launch them as high as you can and very well caught.

Save our Green Belt
Grant awarded for 2 hours free use of the Parish Hall. Passed with very little objection.
It appears all councillors, including RMBC councillors, were in agreement.
Q    Is it now a change of policy?
A     It would seem so
Q   Are some of the councillors now backtracking by backing the objection to building on our green belt.
A   Me thinks they are now building up green credentials – Maybe they will apply these to the much ravaged Village Green – Watch this space.

The marching  band is perfectly in tune – trombones raised Razzmatazz!! 

Old Library
Cllr Dalton  doesn’t seem to care that this defunct building is costing us, the ratepayers, c£5,000 per annum.  Well why should she – she lives in Dinno Land or is that La La Land.
She is inviting people in to try to form a youth group in this building –

Q   Hang on a bit – didn’t she vote for RMBC budget cuts – including Youth Services.
A   Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

Q   Why this determined struggle to keep this drain on our taxes –
A   Doesn’t cost her – she lives in Dinno Land whoops La La Land
Q   Who will pay to support any group that uses the Old Library.
A   Oh it will be Anston Tax Payers AGAIN
Q   Another U turn –
A   You bet – Conservative Policy  – The Big Society – When the cuts bite charities are asked to step in. Nice to see our Labour Councillor taking on Tory policies.

Have we got another defector in our midst? –looks like  Red to Blue this time!

The drum majorette drops the baton – stoops to pick it up and falls flat on her face.

Community Plan
Commmmmmmmmmmmmuniti   Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,  sooooooooooooooo  sloooooooooooow
Q   How long is the update of this plan going to take?
A   It is 6 months since they put the survey out
Q   Why is Iain St.John so keen to write this plan
A   What Iain St.John actually doing physical work for the council
Q   How long will it take him
A   Iain St. John says Don’t knooooooooooooo BUT Aggressively  jabbing his finger at the clerk saying “And don’t you think you are going to rush me”
Q   What is the deadline
A   September – a whole 2 months away – watch this space folks

Drum Majorette trying to regain her baton, trips up drummer as he bangs on – Oh dear!

Skate Park – Grant Request
Q   Was Cllr St.John moaning again about Tuesday night meetings for this group ‘cos it clashes with
his operatic rehearsals.
A   Yes – He was told the last time he made a song and dance about this – make the choice – The children’s Skate Park or the Dinnington Operatic Society –
Q   What did he choose
A   NO CONTEST – his social life takes priority
Q   Why does Iain St.John expect the meetings for this group to revolve around his social life
A   Don’t know but he seems well versed in making a song and dance and not only at Dinno Opratiks
Q  Hey wait a mo – What about disco INFERNO – Is he doing a John Travolta
A   Well you never know – perhaps he was practicing when jabbing his finger at the clerk.

Drummers trip up trombonists whilst onlookers dance to disco INFERNO

Press Media Article by Chairman Beck  Wriggle   Wriggle   Squirm   Squirm
The Chairman – Cllr Beck under severe pressure for breaking rules.

Q   Why what did he do – please tell
A    Well he gave a self promoting article to the Guardian & Advertiser Newspapers.
When challenged he tried to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes –
Q   How come
A   Well he was challenged on Standing Order 108 which says Councillors cannot contact newspapers
Q   Oh what did he do then
A   Oh he squirmed, quite slickly and said NO he had used Standing Order 107, which gives the Chairman authority to reply to requests from the press
Q  Are we to believe he was contacted on 2 separate occasions for the exact same story
A   Me thinks he will need to knit a bigger jumper for him to pull the wool over our eyes.

Open top Cadillac swerves to avoid trombonists, onlookers cheer as Freshman is tipped out and trips over his knitting

Free use of The Parish Hall for RMBC Surgeries
Q   Did new RMBC Councillor Clive Jepson, INDEPENDENT ask for clarification regarding free use of the Parish Hall  by RMBC councillors for their surgeries.
A   YES – The Labour Councillors have abused the hospitality of Anston taxpayers by voting for themselves to have free use of the parish hall for far too long
Q  So what happened – Did all councillors vote for costs to be paid for use of the parish hall by RMBC councillors
A   Don’t be daft – Cllrs St.John & Beck abstained!

A massive U turn and about time too.  Well Done councillors –  It would appear integrity is creeping in – Hooray  – Loud cheers and applause from the crowd

Razzmatazz   loud music,  light the fireworks ,  ticker tape floating down – We, like Things,  Are looking up

Emergency Plan
Q   Has the Parish Council  been asked to update the Emergency Plan
A   Oh I will tell
Q   Did a councillor with experience in this field say this plan has no instructions for the Chair, Vice Chair or anyone else.  It is an RMBC plan which makes the Parish Council subordinate to Ward Members.
A   Yes and was totally ignored by those who have never experienced extreme situations
Q  What was Councillor Dalton’s response
A  To produce a piece of paper from RMBC – not shown to councillors but given to the clerk to make an emergency plan up.

No Plan – No Idea – No Experience – No Hope – Bob Hope and  Envelope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear Rain falling on the parade, ground getting slippy, fireworks now damp squibs, tickertape damp and soggy,  all in a foggy! – What a wash out.
Bring on the Emergency Plan –  Whoooooooooooops –  What Plan?

Ah well!
To  Independent people everywhere
Go to bed – don’t have a care
Until tomorrow when you wake
You find your house sits in a lake

Call the Parish
Don’t be daft
Go and build yourself a raft

Goodnight all
Mrs Overall

Mrs Overall’s Acorn Antiques 19 March 2012

ACORN ANTIQUES 19 MARCH 2012  
JOTTINGS FROM A “QUALITY” PARISH COUNCIL
WHAT A NIGHT IT WAS – IT REALLY WAS

THIS IS A DARK AND X RATED PRODUCTION
Little comedy  – just gloom
Read and despair

Finance Meeting
Last Meeting of the Financial Year:

Councillor Thornton asked if the budget was over or underspent
Computer says aka (The Clerk, Michael Gazur) Don’t Noooooooooooooooooooo

Joyce Brindley also known to us as Poison Ivy-  Asking whose turn it was to do the audit checks
Q   Was this a loaded question
A    Of course
Q   Why
A   Because Councillor Thornton refuses to do the audit check, having asked on numerous
occasions for a breakdown of transfer of monies, between the Charity and the Parish
Council.
Q   Did she trip up
A   Oh yes, she ensnared the “illustrious” chairman who never does an audit check!
MEETING ADJOURNED by Cllr Dalton
Q   Was a vote taken to adjourn the meeting
A    Don’t be ridiculous
Q   Did she declare the items for which this meeting was adjourned
A   Don’t be silly
Q   Was a vote taken to put items into secret session
A   Don’t be so very silly

PARISH COUNCIL MEETING

Chairman Ireland opens the meeting with more obfuscation e.g.
Regarding the guest speaker from Groundwork who had been invited to talk about litter picks (child labour!)  A councillor asked who invited this lady.
The chairman replied “We invited her at the last Parish Council Meeting”
WHAT A WHOPPER! – Councillor Dalton invited the lady unbeknown to the clerk or the chairman or indeed councillors.
THE LADY WAS NOT INVITED AT THE LAST PARISH COUNCIL MEETING
Q   Does the chairman know which end of him is up?
A   No but he knows where the Trooper is!

Skate Park
In Attendance – School boys of the local area who are users of the Skate Park.
They attended to bring their observations to the attention of the Parish Council of the poor and unsafe condition of the Skate Park.

An eloquent young skate boarder pointed out that rivets were sticking out of the ramps and this was dangerous.  Also the mud on the tarmac was a danger.
After all the normal excuses the Chairman invited the boys to attend the inspection of the Skate Park on a week day i.e. school day!
Q   Is it the Chairman’s policy or that of the Parish Council to encourage truancy?
A   Looks like it

Mrs Wallhead – Who has been campaigning for this Skate Park for many years and is now campaigning for it’s safety, asked:
Q  Have any of the councillors been to look at other skate parks
A  In jumps Iain St.John “Yes is the short answer,
I was cabinet member for skate parks etc., The major problem with skate parks maybe     the day to day use.  What you are wanting is something like Clifton Park we think or   Maltby.”

The eloquent young skate boarder replied:  “The point is we have got other skate parks round the area.  We are not asking for these amazing skate parks  “WE JUST WANT THIS TO BE SAFE.  IT IS TOO DANGEROUS FOR US TO USE.”
At this point the whole of the public applauded this eloquent and perfectly controlled young man and called Hear Hear
If Iain St.John  was Cabinet Member and Parish Council Member – HOW COME WE END UP WITH CAST OFF EQUIPMENT AND END UP WITH THE WORST UNSAFE SKATE PARK IN THE BOROUGH?

Minutes of Parish Council Meeting 20 February 2012
Untrue recording of above Minutes:
Now for the truth (a foreign land to many Anston Parish Councillors)
Q   Was Councillor Thornton evicted from the previous parish council meeting 20 February
A   Yes
Q   Did the Minutes record the events truthfully
A    No
Q   Did the Chairman take a vote to evict Cllr Thornton
A   Yes TWICE!
Q   Why twice
A   Because the Chairman made a Bugger’s Muddle of this
Q   Was he complying with Standing Orders
A   NO

A proposal was made to amend the Minutes to record the true events
This was put to the vote
RESULT  –  7 Abstentions    1 For    6 Against

NOTE:  The 6 Against  – These had been present at the 20 February meeting and therefore knew that the events recorded in the minutes were untrue!
Q   Is it acceptable for councillors to cover up and lie
A   NO certainly not

However untrue recording of minutes amounts, at Anston Parish Council to:
Record not what took place but what you would have liked to have taken place.

Hey here comes Boy Wonder giving us his wisdom – convoluted though it is!

The Chesterfield Canal Trust

Q   Why did Staveley Town Council  write to request Anston Parish Council to grant monies
to The Chesterfield Canal Trust?
A   Surely the Chesterfield Canal Trust should write on their own behalf?
Q   Why did Boy Wonder press so hard for this grant
A   Surely not to impress the Chairman of the Chesterfield Canal Trust (Robin Stonebridge)
Q   Did Boy Wonder speak against donating to our own stretch of canal
A   Yes – it is a linked up project  (Clang – medal struck for stating the b……g obvious)
Q  Later did he report that 3 areas, including Rotherham had donated to their own stretch of the Canal
A   Yes he did – Well let’s have it straight Boy Wonder  (Clang – another medal struck)

10i  Agenda Item -To discuss bullying of Councillors

Q   At the previous month’s meeting, did Cllr St.John accuse another councillor of bullying
him.
A   Yes
Q   Did Cllr St.John make a complaint about bullying to the Standards Committee
A   No
Q   Did Cllr St.John make this accusation for effect
A   Of course – He can’t resist being on a stage
Q   Did the accused councillor read out a statement in order to prevent himself being
evicted once more
A   Yes
Q   Why were Poison Ivy and Boy Wonder sitting smirking with each other
A   Obviously they think bullying is funny but then Poison Ivy does have a certain record

10ii Agenda Item – To discuss Councillor Thornton being evicted from the previous council meeting

Q   Why did the chairman strike this item off the agenda
A    Too near the knuckle
Q   Did the chairman allow any discussion
A   None whatsoever
Q   What powers was he acting under
A   Maybe he will let us know – when he finds out!
Q   Did Cllr Thornton stand to make a point of order
A   Yes
Q  Why was Boy Wonder jabbing his finger at Cllr Thornton saying “You need to state the
rules, You need to state the rules”
A   Because he is infantile
Q   Why did Poison Ivy stand to show a copy of Councils Direct regarding bullying
A   Who knows why, this from a councillor who has assaulted another member 3 times
At this point Robin Stonebridge said to Cllr Thornton this is a platform for your paranoid fantasies – the tone of which can be imagined.

10iii Agenda Item To discuss the position of RMBC Members in relation to their role as Anston Parish Council Members.

This item was withdrawn due to the councillor not being given a fair chance to speak
At this point Cllr Stonebridge came in again and said “YOU ARE A WASTE OF LIFE”
The reaction from the public was one of understandable horror.

The meeting then descended into chaos with Poison Ivy shouting Shut UP to Cllr Thornton. Poison Ivy then turned her spleen on a member of the public and said in a threatening manner “I will see you later”
Outside in the playground –
YES
Behind the bike shed –
I am not that childish   –
Well you could have fooled us all, firstly she is striking councillors, then making untrue remarks, in a meeting, re a member of the public’s personal life and now issuing threats to a member of the public.
No wonder the meeting was in uproar
AND WHAT DID THE HAPLESS AND HOPELESS JOHN THOMAS IRELAND DO – BUGGER ALL!

The young skate boarding spokesman knew how to handle himself with maturity beyond his years –
He and his friends must certainly have been appalled at what they observed from certain councillors.

This Parish Council has plumbed the depths – it is an utter farce – is not fit for purpose – spends our money wantonly and should be disbanded immediately.

This type of base behaviour is not acceptable in any way to the people of Anston.

A DARK NIGHT INDEED – A VERY DARK NIGHT

Goodnight All
Mrs Overall

Mrs Overall’s – Acorn Antiques – March 19th 2012

Mrs Overall’s – JOTTINGS FROM A “QUALITY PARISH COUNCIL!”

It was a calm and quiet night – so was the meeting.
Question:    Who was missing?
Answer: The 3 wise monkeys – Robin Stonebridge, Iain St.John & Dominic Beck!

.

Charity Meeting 7 March 2012

Cafe:
Question:   Do we really need to re-open this loss making white elephant which took the
amazing sum of c £7 per day over last summer, before wages and goods were taken out.
Answer:      NO
Question:   How much did this white elephant lose
Answer:      c £20,000 over 3 years excluding 2011
Question:   Who is pushing to re-open this
Answer:      Judy Dalton & Jo Burton – two aliens who live outside this precept area!
Mr Micawber, would be proud!

Dog Show on The Charity Land:
Question:    What date is this proposed for
Answer:       Nobody knows
Questions:  So why was it discussed
Answer:       Nobody knows
Question:   What are the details, who did it come from, etc.,
Answer:      Nobody knows!
Question:   Is somebody keeping this under their hat and why
Answer:     Well it is Anston non-Quality Parish Council and it is dog wuff

Grounds Maintenance Contract:
Question:   Was the contract before the councillors
Answer:      Don’t be silly
Question:   Did the clerk read the contract to the councillors, end to end
Answer:      Don’t be silly
Question:   Did the councillors have the opportunity to read the contract
Answer:      Don’t be silly
Question:   Did the Chairman read the contract
Answer:      Don’t be silly
Question:   Did the clerk pass it to the chairman for signing
Answer:      YES
Question:    Well did the Chairman sign this unseen and unread contract
Answer:       YES  –
Question:    Was this a CHARITABLE  THING TO DO? – Don’t be silly
Answer:       Who cares – not SILLY BILLY
WELL SILLY BILLY WHO WILL PAY IF THIS GOES T..s UP – ?

Finance Meeting:
Enter Boy Wonder (3rd Wise Monkey)  –  10 minutes late

Signs to identify Parish Land:
Question:     Was this originally being pushed by Cllr Iain St.John
Answer:        Yes
Question:     Do we really need to spend MORE money on this pet must have
Answer:        No
Question:     How much is this going to cost
Answer:        Don’t know, Don’t care – Was NOT discussed
Question:     How many members of the public are clamouring for identification of council
Land
Answer:       None – Nil – Zilch!
Question:    Who is supporting this
Answer:       Councillor Dominic Beck
Question:    Does this expenditure bother Boy Wonder
Answer:       Nooooooo – No need to budget? – lives with Mummy & Daddy!

Litter Picks:
Question:    Was a letter received from a parishioner re Litter
Answer:       Yes
Question:    Was it read out for the benefit of the public
Answer:       Don’t be silly
Question:    Should an RMBC councillor promote their personal pet RMBC projects in
Parish Council Meetings.
Answer:       I DO NOT THINK SO
Question:   Then who is doing so
Answer:       Judy Dalton – one of the aliens
Question:    Why did she override a councillor, Stuart Thornton, and stop him from speaking on the subject
Answer:      She insisted on promoting her scheme to get children to do the litter picking
Question:   Don’t we pay rates for Street Pride to do this
Answer:      Yes
Question:   Does what she is proposing amount to child slave labour?
Answer:      Make your minds up good people

Grants per Annum:
Question:   Did Dominic Beck, Boy Wonder, proposed restricting the number of grants to
individual groups.
Answer:      Yes
Question:   Did he fail to address the issue of the current overspend on grants to the public
Answer:      Yes
Well being financially responsible will not enter his mindset – he still lives with Mummy & Daddy

NB: The allocation for the current year – £2,000. The latest spend  £2,900 plus!
The above do not take into account grant reductions and free use of the Hall
Viv Nicholson says – SPEND SPEND SPEND – Who cares!

Cricket Club – To approve Quiz Night:
Question:   Was this approved
Answer:      Almost!!
Question:   Why Almost
Answer:      Well a councillor jumped in and asked for the cost
Question:   Was it £450 – Did all councillors know of this cost
Answer:      Yes it was – and – No they didn’t!
Question:   Why should this large sum be spent on invitation only parishioners
Answer:      We can only afford free nosh for so many
Question:   Was the Chairman, John Ireland, attending the Cricket Club
Answer:      Yes
Question:   Would he be partaking of the free nosh
Answer:      Oh Yes
Question:   Is he a member of the Cricket Club
Answer:      Oh Yes
Question:   Did he declare an interest
Answer:      Nooooooooooooooooo
PASSED ANYWAY – How many councillors are sticking their noses in the trough?

Question:   Did the Chairman get twitchy –
Answer:     OH Yes –
Question:  Was it 9.30pm, were the Beer glasses on?
Answer:     Oh yes – Break a leg!  and the Chairman almost did escaping to the pub

9.45pm     6 items undiscussed, mad rush for the door.

Well who cares – It is Anston Parish Council!

Goodnight all.
Mrs Overall

Mrs Overalls latest play – The Farce which is Anston parish council

ACORN ANTIQUES

JOTTINGS FROM “A QUALITY PARISH COUNCIL!!”

Tell the children that the pantomime season is now well and truly over.

Our theatrical performers have now moved into a new genre. THE FARCE.

THE FARCE – which is – Anston Parish Council

Scene 1. Act 1

Question: Why did Cllr.Liz O’Brian do a cover up job for Iain St.John?
Answer: Maybe she practising to be a magician!

Question: Did she blush beetroot red whilst telling her very elaborate story – That Iain St.John did leave the room after he declared “An Interest!?”
Answer: YES – BRIGHT RED

Question: Did she turn round 180 degrees to see him leave the room?
Answer: NO: she had her back to the door.

Question: Did Iain St.John leave the room?
Answer: NO NO NO – Members of the public emphatically state – He walked over and stood looking at the map which is by the door but in the meeting room.

See Pantomime post of December 2011.

Lying, covering up, dissembling? – All part of the tatty tapestry that is Anston Parish Council.

Scene 1. Act 2

TOO MUCH INTEREST Councillor Joyce Brindley

Question: When did it become acceptable for a parish councillor to comment, in a meeting, about the private life of a member of the public, who was present?
Answer: Never – Cllr Joyce Brindley’s behaviour has in the past, been less than professional and she continues her spleen venting, this time on a member of the public.

Question: Should Cllr Joyce Brindley avail herself of some standards?
Answer: Yes she should – and that goes for the majority of this less than trustworthy lot.

She has been buying into false information – She should ask for a refund!

Scene 1. Act 3

Anston Village Green:

Question: Did a member of the public ask when the track on the south side was going to be repaired?
Answer: Yes

Queston: Did The Clerk, say it had been repaired?
Answer: Yes he did

Question: Was this contested?
Answer: Vehemently

Question: Did Anston Parish Council allow this track to be deliberately damaged & destroyed?
Answer: Oh yes, despite being advised, repeatedly.

Question: In the past did Robin Stonebridge say that he personally would not do any repairs on the village green until hell froze over?
Answer: Absolutely he did – discrimination again.

Question: Has not the Clerk, said in the past, the council have no obligation to repair this track?
Answer: Oh yes he has.

Question: Does Anston Parish Council have a duty to protect & maintain the Village Green which is vested in them?
Answer: Most certainly they do

Question: Then why did they allow a resident of Anston Village Green to systematically destroy the area?
Answer: Good question.

Watch this space good people and learn much more.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

This is Anston Parish Council’s repair!

End of Scene 1.

Scramble to the bar. We need a drink to fortify ourselves for what is to come.

Lights down, Curtain up.

Scene 2. Act.1

Litter:

Question: Did The Clerk say the Green had been litter picked that day?
Answer: Yes he did

Question: Then why is there still a substantial amount of litter on the perimeter that has been there for a very long time?
Answer: Because we are waiting for the wind of change! This then will blow it away!

Question: Did Chairman John Ireland say to the effect “There’s more to Anston than the Village Green. Would that be the Loyal Trooper public house by any chance?
Answer: Make up your own mind audience.

Scene 2. Act.2

Boy Wonder – Booming Beck

Question: Who is this young person trying to impress by booming out unimpressively loudly and aggressively?
Answer: Probably Iain St.John, It does appear he has donned his mantle, shame it’s not the cloak of invisibility.

Question: Does this boy not realise he is emulating Yesterday’s Men?
Answer: Does not care?

Question: Is it appropriate for Booming Beck and Judy Dalton (Vice Chair) to sit sniggering in a pathetic congratulatory way when Booming Beck has delivered one of his tirades?
Answer: NO – but then who cares about decorum – it is Anston Parish Council!

Scene 2. Act.3

The Hapless & Hopeless Chairman Ireland

Question: What on earth or moreover what planet, any planet, is he on?
Answer: Who knows – the only hope for Anston is that he will be sucked into a black hole!

Questions: Did he remain in his seat as Chair during a complaint against him?
Did a member of the public point out his error?
Did the Chairman refuse to take note of correct procedure?
Did he fail to ask for a seconder before evicting Cllr Thornton?
Did he say he didn’t need to?
Did he then realise he should have done so?
Did he then say he already had – and it was Joyce Brindley!!!?
Did he then over look Joyce Brindley “co-operating” with Iain St.John to say she had?
Did he then………………

Oh well – you get the picture

Answers: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES & YES

Question: Who had planned the ambush?
Answer: Surely not Iain St.John!

Question: Did Joyce Brindley just happen to have her Standing Orders before her and open at Section 50?
Answer: Oh yes – You bet she did

And why – Because Cllr.Thornton was, yet again, pointing out the errors under which Anston Parish Council was operating.

To quote Corporal Jones – “They don’t like it up em sir.” Should that be cur?

SO HERE WE GO AGAIN – YES WE DO – YET AGAIN – yawn – and again

Voting to evict Cllr.Thornton from the meeting.

Question: Did Iain St.John turn in his chair to face Cllr Thornton as he was leaving?
Answer: Yes

Question: Was he grinning and gloating?
Answer: As a child might after a playground spat.

Question: Did Cllr St.John then become very full of himself and start showing off in the meeting?
Answer: Well what do you think

Question: Do we need to know he has been out on his bike?
Answer: Don’t give a twopenny toss – Not relevant to the meeting, like so much of what comes out of his mouth.

(Fado would have had endless material from this lot of “under” performers!)

HOW VERSATILE THIS LOT ARE! Now from Farce to Tragedy

THE TRAGEDY

That Anston has this majority of under performers, playing to and for benefit of The Master Puppeteer.

Question: Has Chairman Ireland admitted to being Ian St.John’s puppet?
Answer: Oh yes, on a number of occasions.

Well we will see how Anston Parish Council is themed at it’s next performance. Come, come and see, if you can stand it. Why should we suffer alone? A good night out! Entrance free.

Lights up – curtain down – NO THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE AND PLEEEEZE NO ENCORE

To paraphrase Rogerson:

If drama were a person (St.John)
He would be a stern and noble fellow (Not)
If it was a comedy (St.John)
He would be a jovial chap (Not)
But if it were a tragedy (Most definitely)
He would be like a solemn girl. (Sure thing)

If drama were a tree (St.John)
He would be a grand old oak. (What a joke)
If it were a comedy (St.John)
He would be the merry beech (Nut)
But if it were tragedy (Most definitely)
He would be a weeping willow. (Surely Twisted Willow!)

Goodnight All

Mrs Overall

The Players:
Michael Gazur – clerk
Martin Crowther
Joyce Brindley
Liz Bridges
Liz O Brien
Clive Jepson
John Ireland
Judy Dalton
Dominic Beck
Steve Baker
Gordon Jarvis
Stuart Thornton
Iain St John

Supporting Cast:
Mr D Smith and his Professional Heckler Mr Brian Lewis – Dave Smith did not speak.
Bill Brindley husband of Joyce Brindley. At odds/verbally aggressive/confrontational with Brian Lewis.
The Chairman allowed Bill Brindley to speak at will, despite not being a parish councillor, his status at the meeting was that of a member of the public. He certainly should not have had a go at Stuart Thornton.
The Chairman – Ireland, as you might expect, did bugger all about it!

Representatives of The Brethren were there!! But did not speak!

In Anston the pantomime season lasts all year!

Acorn Antiques January 2012

Reflections on Meetings of Anston Parish Council by Mrs Overall.

4th January Charity Meeting

It was a calm night – no wind blowing.

It was calm at the Parish Charity Meeting – no hot air!

In fact there seems to have been a lot of charity at this meeting!

Question: Is this their New Year’s Resolution?

Answer: We will have to wait and see

Question: Or – was it because Cllr.St.John was absent

Answer: Damned sure it was.

16th January Finance Meeting – Democracy in Action!

Agenda Item: 7a

To discuss allowing the public to query parish business, by asking questions at Wednesday Finance Meetings.

Cllr Beck – Strongly & loudly against the public asking questions regarding items on the Agenda.

Question: Why is he so against receiving verbal questions from the electorate he is supposed to represent?

Answer: He wants the public to write a letter to the clerk within 4 working days from the publication of the Agenda –

Question: Do all the public have access to a computer?

Answer: No

Question: What was the solution Cllr Beck came up with?

Answer: Oh! Truck on down to the Recourse Centre (Dinnington – next village)

Doesn’t matter if you are aged, disabled etc this 19 year old boy/young man, obviously has no thought for those parishioners.

Agenda Item: 7b

Cllr Beck – Strongly & loudlyTrying to allow councillors to speak and express a view on items they have a prejudicial interest in, at the beginning of the meeting

Question: Has he not read the Model Code of Conduct 2007 which clearly states Members are not allowed to speak unless the public are so allowed?

Answer: Code of Conduct – Why bother? None of the other Labour councillors do –

AND THE STANDARDS COMMITTEE COULD NOT CARE LESS.

Councillor Beck – Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!

Another pleasant Meeting!

Question: Who was absent

Answer: Iain St.John

Arrived @ 7.20pm – Robin Stonebridge!

Parish Council Meeting: 16 January 2012

Litter: On the Village Green

Question: When is this going to be addressed along with other matters on the Village Green?

Answer: Reader – We will keep you posted, don’t hold your breath – it took 25 years to get a wall repaired. However we are on the case!

Tra La – Enter Iain St.John @ 7.45pm –

Question: Why did he not take the empty chair next to Cllr Thornton

Answer: Preferred to find a chair and squash up to Cllrs Beck & Stonebridge

3 Wise Monkeys? (Hear all, see all, say nowt! Perhaps?)

A chill now enters the room – Charity leaves by the window.

Dangerous parking near Hillcrest School

Well done new Cllr Gordon Jarvis for taking a pro-active stance, showing concern for the people you represent. Not so well done Borough Cllr. Dalton for trying to hijack the issue.

Cllr. Thornton proposed the Parish Council send a letter to RMBC Highways

Voted in favour unanimously.

Dangerous pavement at Church Farm development South Anston

Well done again new Councillor Gordon Jarvis

Question: Did Cllr Dalton try to hijack this subject as well?

Answer: Yes and backed up by Iain St.John.

Cllr. Thornton proposed the Parish Council write to Highways.

Question: Was this defeated.

Answer: Oh yes it was!

Question: Why did Four (4) Labour councillors look at each other and hesitantly raise their hands to vote this proposal down.

Comment – Nothing like voting for the Labour Party said Cllr. Thornton

(Great Uproar from Labour)

Question: Why did Chairman Ireland say he found the remark offensive?

Answer: Who knows and would Chairman Ireland know!

Cllr Thornton said “Because you find it offensive does not mean it is.”

Wait for it – Here we go again………………….

So what did Cllr St.John say next – Comes in from the sidelines saying AGAIN – We have rules to evict councillors from meetings if they constantly disagree with the chairman.

Unprompted!!! Chairman Ireland picks up the rule book says “I would like someone to propose that Mr Thornton leaves the meeting.

THE SILENCE WAS DEAFENING

Question: Why did we have, yet again, all this nonsense about evicting Cllr Thornton?

Answer: Chairman Ireland does as he is told/prompted!

Final comment from Cllr St.John – “I am not personally rude to people”

Sharp intake of collective breath – Oh yeeeeeer

Poor Mr Lewis – it caused him to have a severe coughing bout!

Well although relatively quiet & civil (up until a certain point!)

Let us see how long the New Year’s Resolution lasts.

Goodnight All – Mrs Overall

For your entertainment – The Acorn Antiques Christmas Pantomime! Act2

ACORN ANTIQUES – December 2011

Mrs Overall’s Anston parish, Christmas Pantomime – Act 2

Hope you all enjoyed the intermission?

Lights down – Curtain up!

Anston Parish Council Pantomime – Act 2 begins:

It was a dark and dank Monday night – the wind was howling/or was it the Parish Councillors?

Question Time: Public Session

A resident asked – If the budget was being put out for public consultation? The resident pointed out that on the Labour election leaflet it was a manifesto promise:

“ We will consult residents before taking any major decisions affecting the village, including the Parish Council budget.”

Cue – All Labour councillors squirming in their seats!

Cllr Beck (the Boy Wonder!) sought to distance the parish council by saying this leaflet was nothing to do with the parish council.

Altogether now Oh yes it is. It was in their election manifesto.

Pledge No.1, directly under Boy Wonder’s photograph.

Cllr Burton – We were elected to do this for them.

Question: Had she put her name to the Labour leaflet?

Answer: Yes – Along with the other 8 Labour councillors!

Are they changing tack because this leaflet is under police investigation?

Back to the minutes of 21st November – Cllr St John`s half declaration of interest.

Cllr Thornton again sought from Cllr St.John, clarification as to whether his declaration had been personal or prejudicial – Safe At Last Trustee. No answer was the firm reply!

Enter Boy Wonder Beck, throws over his cloak of protection – It is up to the individual whether to declare an interest, it doesn’t matter what you declare”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However Standing Orders say you have to declare an interest and if it is prejudicial you must leave the room.

Question: Was Cllr St.John avoiding declaring correctly in order to remain in the meeting?

Answer: You bet your bottom dollar!

Question: Did Cllr St.John enter the discussion?

Answer: No – Cat got his tongue (Dick Whittington’s????)

Question: Why when other councillors declare fully does Cllr St.John fail to do so?

Answer: Possible arrogance?

Question: Is he the only one who does not leave the room?

Answer: YES -Well readers what do you make of all this.

Chairman Ireland get a grip.

Letter from Standards Committee:

Queston: Is Boy Wonder having his collar felt?

Answer: It appears so!

Letter of complaint by resident –

Question: Did Chairman Ireland instruct the clerk to reply as requested by the parishioner?

Answer: NO –

Letter of complaint by another resident –

Question: Was this discussed?

Answer: Bet your bottom dollar it was NOT – WHY

COMPLAINTS AGAINST COUNCILLORS AND YET AGAIN DELIBERATELY NO DISCUSSION

Budget

Approved for 2012/13

A recorded vote was asked for.

Cllr Thornton voted against.

Cllr Beck – “I think it is absolutely disgraceful that Cllr Thornton has voted against he had ample opportunity in both meetings to make his point known.”

Cllr Thornton retorted that when he had suggested savings to the budget he was shouted down by other councillors with one councillor saying leave it to the experts. At the second meeting he was shouted at by Councillor Stonebridge AND TOLD TO SHUT UP!

Question: Is Cllr Stonebridge reverting to type?

Answer: Well leopards do not change their spots!

Question: Did Cllr Stonebridge stare at Cllr Thornton lean forward and say “The pantomime season is on us, Pinocchio is about?”

Answer: Yes – Twice.

Chairman’s Chain of Office

What a bling king farce!

Question: Was the Chairman reluctant to name the prospective sponsor?

Answer: Oh yes you bet.

Question: Who did this turn out to be?

Answer: Darren the Defector.

Question: Is this against all propriety?

Answer: We would say so.

Question: Maybe part of his election campaign?

Answer: You make up your minds.

Question: Does the Chairman want this desperately?

Answer: Desperately enough to extend the discussion and confuse everybody.

What a “Buggers Muddle”

Congratulations to right thinking councillors for voting against this cynical ploy.

Staffing Issues – The Gang of Four

Working Party to discuss staff matters

Question: Who had decided that this would be a meeting of just 4 Councillors: Cllrs Ireland, Dalton, Beck & Stonebridge?

Answer: Obviously they did.

Question: Shouldn’t staffing matters be discussed by ALL councillors?

Answer: Not when you want to implement your own agenda.

Question: If the reason for this coterie was given as experience on staffing matters – What experience has a 19yr old in this field?

Answer: None!

Question: How many of the other councillors have staff management experience?

Answer: Many!

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE OTHER COUNCILLORS FOR RESISTING THIS POWER HUNGRY CLOSED SHOP.

Curtain Down – Lights Up – Chairman showing largesse – providing booze & mince pies??

For your entertainment – The Acorn Antiques Christmas Pantomime! Act1

ACORN ANTIQUES – December 2011

Mrs Overall’s Anston parish, Christmas Pantomime – Act 1

Finance Meeting 7th December Cllr Thornton queried what interest Cllr St.John had declared in relation to a 100% grant (free use of Parish Hall) on 21 November. Other members had declared personal or prejudicial interest whereas Cllr St.John just declared “An” interest. Cllr St.John stated he was a Trustee of Safe at Last, the group asking for the free use of hall.

Question: As a Trustee – Does he have a direct financial interest?

Answer: Yes and it is prejudicial, due to financial implications.

Cllr St.John was not at the meeting of the 7th – not available to answer what interest he had declared. Cllr Thornton queried if Cllr St.John had left the room, as required to do in Standing Orders.

Tra La Tra La – Riding to the rescue – Boy Wonder Beck, declared Cllr St.John had left the room.

OH NO – He didn’t , He’s behind you looking at the wall map. Then came back and sat next to you.

A member of the public confirmed he did not leave the room.

Telling porkies for a friend!?

AGRD Anston Kids – Grant

Question: Was this granted last month?

Answer: NO – Blocked by Cllr St.John.

Question: Was it granted This month?

Answer: YES – Overwhelmingly – £100 –

Question Was Cllr St.John Absent?

Answer: YES!

Question: Was this unanimous?

Answer: NO – Cllr Stonebridge queried if Children’s Services at RMBC had been informed? WHY?

Did he query The Junior Football Team’s application? – NO!

Well the pantomime season is here and he made a great performance of abstaining and asked for a recorded vote.

Question: Was this to let everyone know (if they were in doubt!) he had abstained.

Answer: Maybe it was more to do with Mrs Sheldon-Ennis – the applicant.
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE PARISH COUNCILLORS WHO VOTED FOR THIS GRANT TO BE GIVEN.

Broadcasting of Meetings

Question: Is this now dying a death – Seems to be – WHY?

Answer: Don’t they want us to see their performances? Oh shame.

Chairman of Parish Council sitting next to Cllr Dalton Chair of Finance Meeting.

Question: Did he start to get agitated at 9.30pm?

Answer: YES!

Question: WHY?

Answer: Well he always has to leave around this time to go to the pub!

Question: Had all Agenda items been discussed?

Answer: NO – There were more than 10 items left to discuss!

MEETING CLOSED IN FAVOUR OF THE PUB!

This was brought to you courtesy of Mrs Overall, to whom I am sure readers will be grateful.

We will bring you Act 2 later on.