APC – The Pantomime

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Grateful to Rothpol’s snailmail contributor for this piece of satire, hope readers enjoy it too:

Anston PC – In the Guardian!

Police and local authority investigate assault claims

Published on 03/05/2013

A South Yorkshire Police spokesman said no arrests had been made when the Guardian went to press.

Police officers were called to Anston Parish Hall after Monday’s meeting to investigate claims of an assault.

It is alleged that a scuffle took place, with an individual being hit.

The incident happened following a meeting of the parish electors at Anston Parish Hall earlier this week.

A South Yorkshire Police spokesman said no arrests had been made when the Guardian went to press.

But a spokesman said the incident was being investigated by officers.

Meanwhile, Rotherham Council confirmed the incident had been referred to its monitoring officer, who would determine what steps to take over the allegations. Read on……

Anston PC – Police called after more trouble!

Last night there was a special meeting of Anston parish council, an electors meeting.  As usual, there were many fine examples of bad behaviour. This was tolerated by the Chairman, Dominic Beck.

The real fireworks erupted once the meeting was closed however, when a clearly agitated Mr Brindley,  made a bee line from across the room and squared up to parish councillor Thornton.

Mr Brindley waved a rolled up newspaper at Mr Thornton’s face and was reported to have been visibly shaking with anger when Mr Brindley repeatedly stated “you need sorting!” This was accompanied by attempted physical intimidation, Mr Brindley was by now very agitated indeed and actually struck Mr Thornton three times across his cheek!

When attempting to strike for a fourth time, Mr Thornton pushed Mr Brindley back, with his open right hand to prevent further physical assault upon his person, this was then followed by an accusation that Mr Thornton had assaulted him and the police were called!

The rest of this sorry tale will be told once the police have completed their investigations.

You simply couldn’t make it up!

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